


As soon as I can hold you once again (I won't let go of you, I swear)

by mohawke



Series: Out of the Forest & Into the Frying Pan [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5698465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohawke/pseuds/mohawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last time she looked at him like this had been two years ago, whens she found him praying in the Chantry. </p><p>Andraste preserve him...he has to let her go again.</p><p>Trespasser era fluff/angst featuring Cullen and Tethiel, with a flashback to Inquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As soon as I can hold you once again (I won't let go of you, I swear)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the scene where the anchor starts flaring up in front of the advisors during Trespasser as well as the "luck" dialogue if you tell Cullen to keep the coin during the Crestwood visit.
> 
> Will update with link to the accompanying art soon-ish.

  
It’s been a little over two years since Cullen had to watch her leave Skyhold, ready to take on Corypheus. Their troops were still returning from the Arbor Wilds, they had no one to send with her. Yet she had taken it in stride, determination burning bright in her eyes as she declared she would face him regardless. It did little to quell the worry he felt as he kissed her goodbye, whispering in her ear that he’d be waiting for her when she got back. 

The waiting was always the worst part. The maddening feeling of uselessness, as if he would crawl out of his skin if he didn’t _move_. The moment she was out of sight he busied himself, seeing to Skyhold’s defenses. He had caught himself thumbing at the coin tucked into his pocket as time ticked slowly by. The question nagged at him incessantly. _Is his luck finally going to run out?_

There was a brief moment where Cullen was almost certain he had lost her. He watched with bated breath as the edges of the rift began fraying further outward. There was a loud crack before the hole began to close in on itself in a burst of green light.  
They quickly received word confirming what he already knows. The Inquisitor had done it, she’d defeated Corypheus and sealed the breach once more. _Thank the maker_.  
The cheers from the courtyard heralded their triumphant return and it was the most beautiful sound. It’s proof that the Inquisitor was back. She’s home and she’s alive. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, the small elven mage who had risked everything to save them all. 

Despite the fact that all the odds were stacked against them, she had returned victorious. It was the culmination of over a year of blood, sweat, and tears. A year of joy and a year of sorrow. All the lives lost, all the vows broken–everything had been worth it in the end. 

When she smiled at him he gave in, dropping all pretense of composure and pulling her tightly into his arms. The rest of the moment had faded away until it was just the two of them. The feeling of her small frame against him, the smell of her hair, the soft sigh of relief...he can recall every detail. 

He’d been so certain that for once things were finally _over_. 

It was foolish really. To think he could survive the events of the Blight, Kirkwall, and Corypheus’ attempts to rip open the veil. That he could somehow emerge unscathed and be able to start a new life– _a real life_ –with his wife.

The sheer agony of her cry wrenches at him as she doubles over, the anchor flaring erratically. The thing that brought her into his life could very well be the thing to steal her away. It’s tearing her apart and there’s absolutely _nothing_ he can do to stop it. Her voice trembles, laced with fear as she whispers the words. “–I don’t want to die.”

His heart sinks as she looks up at him, tears threatening to spill as he moves towards her. She’s already thinking of this as a suicide mission, that there’s no coming back from it. That shakes him more than anything. He’d do anything to be able to switch places with her, to be the one who had to shoulder this pain and responsibility. It isn’t _fair_ –

He swallows wordlessly, trying to remain strong as he hugs her tightly. He can hear her sniffing softly and he has to inhale slowly to keep his own tears at bay. He needs to show her that this _won’t_ be the end. They are going to get through this and start their lives together.

“Whatever happens...you _will_ come back.” He whispers the words with absolute conviction and she nods silently, brushing away a tear.

He watches her walk from the room, ready to track down the Qunari. Cullen clutches the coin tightly in his palm, praying silently that this won’t be the day his luck runs out. 

_Andraste preserve him_.


End file.
